Low libido in women: causes and when to ask for help

Low libido in women is common, and health sources list many possible reasons for it. This guide sets out what three of them say: the NHS, nidirect and the Mayo Clinic. Every source is listed at the end. It is general information, not a diagnosis, and it cannot tell you what lies behind your own situation. For that, a doctor or another health professional is the right person to ask.

There is no single normal level

Desire is not fixed. The Mayo Clinic writes that women’s levels of sexual desire change over the years, and that highs and lows are common with the start or end of a relationship and with major life changes such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. nidirect says that everyone’s sex drive is different and that there is no such thing as a “normal” libido.

The Mayo Clinic adds that no magic number defines a low sex drive, because it varies, and that even when desire is lower than it once was, a relationship may still be strong. The signs it lists are less or no interest in any kind of sexual activity, seldom or never having sexual thoughts or fantasies, and feeling sad or concerned about a lack of sexual activity or fantasies. What is sexual desire? explains why desire rises and falls.

Causes at a glance

The NHS says there are many possible reasons for a low sex drive. The Mayo Clinic describes desire as a complex mix of physical and emotional wellbeing, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle and the current relationship, and says that difficulties in any of these areas can affect it. The table groups the causes that the three sources name.

Area	What the sources mention	Named by
Relationships	Relationship problems, unresolved conflict, poor communication about sexual needs, trust issues, a lack of connection with a partner	NHS, nidirect, Mayo Clinic
Stress, tiredness and mood	Stress, anxiety, exhaustion and depression	NHS, nidirect, Mayo Clinic
Pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding	Changing hormone levels, tiredness, a changing body and body image, the demands of a baby	NHS, nidirect, Mayo Clinic
Menopause and getting older	Falling hormone levels, which can also bring vaginal dryness	NHS, nidirect, Mayo Clinic
Sexual difficulties	Vaginal dryness, pain during sex, difficulty reaching orgasm	NHS, nidirect, Mayo Clinic
Body image and past experiences	Poor body image, low self esteem, negative sexual experiences in the past	Mayo Clinic
Long term conditions	Heart disease, diabetes, an underactive thyroid, cancer, high blood pressure, neurological diseases, some surgery	NHS, nidirect, Mayo Clinic
Medicines	Some prescription medicines, including some for high blood pressure and some antidepressants	NHS, nidirect, Mayo Clinic
Hormonal contraception	The pill, the patch or the implant	NHS, nidirect
Alcohol and drugs	Drinking too much alcohol, and drug use	NHS, nidirect, Mayo Clinic

A closer look at five causes

Relationships

nidirect says that it may help to talk about sex with your partner, and that a doctor may be able to refer a couple for counselling when problems persist. The NHS lists relationship counselling as a possible route for relationship problems. The Mayo Clinic writes that, for many people, emotional closeness is key to sexual intimacy, so problems in the relationship can be a major factor. Talking about desire gives gentle ways to start that conversation.

Stress, tiredness and mood

nidirect writes that stress, anxiety and exhaustion can have a major impact on happiness, including sex drive. If you feel constantly tired, stressed or anxious, it says, you may need to make some lifestyle changes or speak to a doctor.

It describes depression as a serious illness that affects all aspects of life, sex life included. As well as low libido, it lists these signs of depression: feelings of extreme sadness that do not go away, feeling low or hopeless, and losing interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy. nidirect says it is important to see a doctor if you think you might be depressed. A daily routine that is easy to keep looks at simple everyday anchors.

Pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding

nidirect says that loss of interest in sex is common during pregnancy, after giving birth and while breastfeeding. It names changing hormone levels, changes to the body and body image, exhaustion, painful sex after an injury in childbirth and changed priorities, such as looking after a baby. It adds that these issues may improve over time. The NHS advises seeing a doctor if sex drive does not return to normal after pregnancy.

Menopause and getting older

The NHS lists lower hormone levels as you get older, particularly at menopause. The Mayo Clinic explains that at menopause hormone levels drop, which can make some women less interested in sex and cause vaginal dryness that makes sex painful or uncomfortable. It also says that many women still have satisfying sex during menopause and beyond. nidirect adds that a reduced sex drive is not an inevitable part of ageing, and advises speaking to a doctor if you are concerned. Dryness itself is covered in vaginal health basics, and pain during sex in painful sex.

Medicines and contraception

The NHS lists certain medicines, such as some for high blood pressure and some antidepressants, and hormonal contraception such as the pill, patch or implant. nidirect says that certain medicines can sometimes reduce libido. It advises checking the leaflet that comes with a medicine to see whether low libido is listed as a possible side effect, and seeing a doctor if you think a medicine is affecting your sex drive.

The NHS names changing to a different medicine or type of contraception as one possible option for this cause. That is a decision to take with a doctor, not on your own.

When to see a doctor

The NHS advises seeing a doctor if:

• You are worried about your low sex drive.
• You are on a medicine or on hormonal contraception and think it may be affecting your sex drive.
• Your sex drive does not return to normal after pregnancy.

The Mayo Clinic says to talk to a healthcare professional if a lack of interest in sex continues or returns and causes personal distress. nidirect says it is a good idea to get help if a lack of desire distresses you or affects your relationship.

Several professionals are named. nidirect mentions a doctor, who may offer advice or refer you to a specialist for assessment and treatment, and a psychosexual therapist. The Mayo Clinic mentions a gynaecologist or another healthcare professional, and notes that the answer might be as simple as changing a medicine, or getting a condition such as high blood pressure or diabetes under tighter control. The NHS adds that treatment depends on the cause, and that a doctor can advise you about the help available.

You do not need a medical label to ask. The Mayo Clinic mentions a treatable condition that it calls sexual interest arousal disorder, and adds that you do not have to meet this medical definition to seek help. nidirect says not to feel embarrassed: lots of people experience problems with their sex drive, and seeking advice can be the first step towards resolving it. A sex positive therapist is one option if you would like to talk to someone who will not judge. In an emergency, call your local emergency number.

Desire, consent and your own pace

A low point in desire is not a failing, and it never obliges you to do anything. Consent always includes the right to say no, and what sexual consent is sets out how that works. Exploring your sexuality at your own pace is a perfectly good way to go. If body image weighs on desire, body image and sexuality looks at feeling at ease in your body.

Questions about low libido

Is it normal to lose interest in sex for a while?

The Mayo Clinic says that women’s desire changes over the years and that highs and lows are common, for example with the start or end of a relationship or with major life changes such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. nidirect says there is no such thing as a “normal” libido. If the change distresses you or affects your relationship, nidirect says it is a good idea to get help.

Can hormonal contraception lower sex drive?

The NHS and nidirect both list hormonal contraception, such as the pill, patch or implant, among the possible causes of a low sex drive. If you think yours may be affecting you, the NHS advises seeing a doctor. Changing contraception is a decision to take with a doctor, not on your own.

Can a medicine affect sex drive?

Some can. The NHS names medicines for high blood pressure and some antidepressants as examples, and nidirect advises checking the leaflet for low libido among the possible side effects. The Mayo Clinic notes that the answer might be as simple as changing a medicine. Talk to a doctor before changing anything.

Is low libido after pregnancy a problem?

nidirect says that loss of interest in sex is common during pregnancy, after giving birth and while breastfeeding, and that these issues may improve over time. The NHS advises seeing a doctor if sex drive does not return to normal after pregnancy.

Does menopause affect sex drive?

It can. The NHS lists lower hormone levels as you get older, particularly at menopause, as a cause of low sex drive. The Mayo Clinic says that menopause can make some women less interested in sex and can cause vaginal dryness, and that many women still have satisfying sex during menopause and beyond.

Do I need a medical label to ask for help?

No. The Mayo Clinic mentions a treatable condition that it calls sexual interest arousal disorder, and adds that you do not have to meet this medical definition to seek help. Whether any label applies to you is a question for a doctor.